Category: My Life


Its been a while since I posted anything here.  And it has been very eventful.  Two different jobs that are going different directions… ;~()   People dropping little blessings into our lives.  A great church family.  And the start of baseball.  It is spring and with it comes that renewed sense of life and another chance to grow and suceed.

It is difficult to help friends when they are consumed by their own anger.  I can understand the struggle having been there a few times in my own life.  I can’t say that I handled some of those situations the right way.  But I hope that I have learned from my mistakes and sins.  And I hope that I can encouage anyone who is going through the same struggles.

If I do something wrong, then I must pay for it.  But to have to pay the consequence for someone else’s mistakes and sins; well, that stirs a greater anger deep within my soul.  And if I am not careful about this, that anger can turn on me, encouaging me to do things that are just as wrong.  Those actions can deepen the wounds that I have to experience.  But I do not always want to hear those kinds of warnings.  I need to be right.  I need to be justified.  I need to be vindicated.  When I start thinking and acting like that, I am not looking for justice, but rather vengance.

When people start seeking vengance or retribution, they stop caring about those people that are around the situation.  Some of those innocent bystanders are friends, family, co-workers… but most, if not all of them are innocents.  When innocents get hurt in this kind of a situation they are called collateral damamge.  It is sad when a good person hurts others while seeking this kind of satisfaction.  But unfortunately, it never satifies…

As far as other things in life go, we find that hope springs eternal at Easter and during this season in general.  Feeling the touch of God’s arms in a deep embrace during worship on Easter is a feeling that can carry me through the week.  Enjoying Easter afternoon at home with family is peaceful and healing.  And starting off the baseball season with a great opener at Fenway is paradise!

May you find the grace of God walking with you every step this week in all things that good and easy, as well as in every step that is difficult, dangerous and painful.

Godspeed!

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The last session in our training classes this weekend dealt with ethics.  Now if you’re like me, you would be concerned about what kind of class this would be.  It could be a real snoozer.  Maybe it would become a weak version of today’s politically “correct” crap.  Or just maybe someone would ask the basic question, “What is ethics?”  and “How does it work?”

Well Mike, our instructor, nailed it on the head.  He didn’t let us off the hook and he didn’t take the safe route.  He made us go deep and go back to the start.  We didn’t just talk about doing the “right” thing as a member of the Primerica team; but he made us piece together the basic issue that we cannot separate personal ethics from profession ethics.  Nor did he let us divide right thinking from right doing.

No one is perfect or right all of the time.  But we can strive to achieve and reach for greatness – not just as business successes, but we can become great people doing great things.

Well, I know that I’m not the only one who feels this way.  Sheena and Betty, two of my buddies at work, said as much earlier today.  It’s been a good weekend, but a long one.  I finished classes on Saturday, but got the stomach bug during classes – NOT FUN!

Church was great fun this morning.  Our interim pastor got installed as our permanent senior pastor today.  So it was a great celebration!  Congrats, Bobby!  We love you guys…  (www.communityfellowship.com)

I spent a couple hours crashed napping and playing some ps2 baseball with Josh.  We split the two games…

And now I’m trying to get my head lined up for tomorrow and the rest of the week.  Hopefully it will be full and productive without being hectic and draining.  Am I asking too much?  I dunno… have a great week, friends!

Classes are finished!

Last night I finishd the classes for life insurance… and I passed the practice test!  My brain is tired, but can’t stop studying till I take the real exam on Thursday.  Say a prayer for me, if ya think about it.

Overcoming Yourself

I don’t know about you, but there are days that I seem to be fighting myself – defeating myself because of choices and actions that contradict or nullify my efforts and goals.  Over the past year I have been dealing with some of those issues.

Can I tell you something?  It is aggravating to realize that my habits and internal script keeps me from growing and moving up.

I don’t know if you have ever heard the term internal script, or if you have thought about why we do what we do.  But the question in front of me is this:  How do I rewrite my internal script?

If I can trust God for my present and future – God says in Jeremiah 29:11, “I know what I am doing.  I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for” – then why do I sabotage my life?

Don’t get me wrong; there is always crap in life.  People have the freedom to chose.  Not every person makes choices based on the good of others or themselves, so there is pain and trials.  The natural world is at war with itself.  So there is conflict.  But that does not mean that we cannot grow and succeed in our plans.

I need to make some small, simple yet monumental changes in my life.  Foundational blocks need to be laid for success.  If I expect to see different results in my life, then I must change the way I live…

What do you make of your day?

Today started out like every other day in the past couple of months.  I got up at 5:00-ish… yeah, that’s in the a.m.  Now for those of you who know me fairly well, understand that I have always believed that 5:00 only comes once a day, and that is in the P.M.!

Regardless, I got ready and went to “work” (that is my first/primary job) at 6:10 a.m.  I work in a local daycare center which is part of a national chain.  It has been difficult there for a number of reasons which I will not share on here.  A slander lawsuit is not how I want to spend my time for the next couple of years.  I got down with part 1 of my day at the daycare, leaving around 9:00 a.m. for job number 2!

Right now I do have three different jobs.  In this world and economy, a person must do whatever they can to make ends meet…

My new job is for a sound personal financial and insurance company.  Chris offered me a part-time job to become their office manager two weeks ago.  Working in their environment has been magic, and even healing!  This is an atmosphere where your team mates build you up, help you out, encourage you and cheer you on when you get promoted.

After we finished up the morning work, I met up with Cheryl to have lunch with my new boss and his wife.  Lunch was good and the conversation zipped along.  We talked about several things.  But then they expressed how delighted they are with the changes in their office.  They were so excited that they gave me a raise!

Wow!  What a blessing… God really knew that we needed the extra income and that I needed a big affirmation.  God is a good God!  And I am glad that I am on His side…

Saying “Sorry”

I have a lot of memories of my Dad.  Most are pleasant.  A few are, well, let’s just say not so pleasant.  I think that  a lot of people can relate to that.  But looking back, my Dad did a super job providing for and raising my brother and I.  He taught us many things by example – one of those was to say “sorry” when he had done wrong.

During my teenage years I remember a time when something happened – it wasn’t good.  Dad got upset!  He thought I had done the “deed”.  So he called me out and let me have it.  I don’t remember, but I imagine that there was some accompanying punishment for my crime.

Now mind you, I pleaded my innocence the entire time.  Yeah, I know, laugh it up.  Who in prison hasn’t plead innocent of the crimes accused of… I am no different.  Except this time I did not do it.

Not long after the confrontation, Dad found out what happened.  He realized that he jumped to conclusions and wrongly accused and punished me.

What happened next is burned clearly into my memory.  He apologized.  Now to say he apologized doesn’t do it justice.  He taught me that day that saying “sorry” isn’t the same as apologizing.  Here is how he did it.

He called the family together in the living room.  Dad had this thing about making a production out of things like this…, it was his way.  As we sat there – Mom, my brother Mike and me – Dad proceeded.

He admitted what had happened, including that he jumped to conclusions and falsely labeled me guilty.  In front of the family, he admitted he was wrong.  He then asked me if I would forgive him.

Well, I did forgive him.  But what happened didn’t really soak in till much later in my life.  Only now do I realize what my Dad was trying to teach me

Dad lost his battle with cancer seven years ago the end of this month.  And there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss him deeply.  But the memories of our times together and the things he taught me will live on in my heart for all of my life.

“Thanks, Dad!  I love you and can’t wait to see you on the other side!”

I am sitting in bed watching my first spring training game of the new season.  Baltimore is beating Boston at the moment – and we’ll take it whenever we can get it!  As for baseball, I welcome the return of my childhood pastime.  The other day I was reading an article about the St. Louis Cardinals and their new hitting coach, Mark McGwire.  This caught my eye because I have been a fan of McGwire since before the famed homerun race between he and Sammy Sosa.  As I read the article, it got me thinking about a common thread in the last year, a common thread in my life.

Mark McGwire has something in common with another high profile athlete – Michael Vick.  Though you might see their actions as totally different, they both have done something to break the law or rules in professional sports, as well as break the law.  Both men have gone before the public confessing and asking for forgiveness for their transgressions.  And now, both men are starting a new chapter in their lives.  Michael by re-entering the NFL and Mark by moving back into the MLB as a coach.

I have a deep personal interest in both of them (especially Michael) because I too have had to start over after making some bad choices which have hurt my family and friends, as well as ended my career.  These stories bring up an interesting concept that everyone wants to get, but few know how to give.  Ironically, watching both of their situations, I see segments of our society being very unforgiving and unwilling to give these two men the chance, the space to come back and to prove themselves as changed men, growing and giving back to their world.

There is one other person that comes to mind – he lived thousands of years ago, was a popular political figure and favored by God.  The King David of the Bible started as a lowly shepherd in his father’s livestock business.  He grew to become a fearless warrior and leader for the people of Israel.  He developed into a great king who would care for the people and govern in a righteous manner.  But then he was tempted when he least expected it.  David’s story is a fascinating one of sucess, sin, tragedy and redemption.  At the end of it, David was still known as a “man after God’s own heart”.  This came after his years as an adulterer, a murderer and a liar.

I am cheering for both Michael and Mark to suceed in life and prove to be good men, changed and better after their issues.  And I hope that people in our soceity find that spirit that gives forgiveness, help and hope for fallen people to be redeemed and restored…

… maybe there is hope for me too!  One can always hope…, I do.

Batman of Landisville

Tonight, after crawling into bed to work on the laptop, I noticed a small bat flying around in our bedroom.  It was maybe 4 or 5 inches across the wingspan.  Well, I tried to coral it out of the bedroom through the window and out into the cold night.  Cheryl in the meantime, stayed firmly under her covers.  In the end, the bat flew out of the open window in the dark night…